


Ice in my Veins

by hoeforhermione



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Awesome Caitlin Snow, Backstory, College, Fanfiction, Gen, Metahuman Caitlin Snow, One Shot, Pre-Particle Accelerator Explosion (The Flash TV 2014), Pre-The Flash (TV 2014)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:09:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24221851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoeforhermione/pseuds/hoeforhermione
Summary: A one-shot, short story that takes place during Caitlin Snow’s first year of college. Filled with anger, fear, and sadness, Caitilin experiences an unexplainable, icy situation.
Relationships: Caitlin Snow/Carla Tannhauser
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	Ice in my Veins

Anger, exhaustion, and anxiety are just a few emotions running through Caitlin Snow’s mind as she rushes to complete her endless piles of assignments. Why do so many professors assign this much work during finals, anyway? Caitlin mutters to herself. Despite the impending amount of work she has yet to complete, she is determined to finish before morning. Well, before her 8 a.m. exam, seeing as the morning has already snuck up on her, a fact she realizes after glancing at the clock. 5 a.m. already? How is that possible? Caitlin curses her bad luck.

She thought that moving on campus would help her get away from the family drama, but it seems to have only heightened it. As far as Caitlin could tell, her mother did not even care that her father was gone. Sure, it has been over 7 years since he has passed, but Carla could have at least pretended to grieve. Instead, she has been pouring herself in her work and ignoring the pain that her only child must be feeling. Carla has always been cold and emotionless, but this time she crossed the line.

Just this morning, Caitlin received a call from her mother in which she delivered the thoughtless news. Caitlin knew something was off to begin with: Carla never called during the week, she always kept to the schedule of every other Sunday. They had just spoken a few days ago, and Caitlin wondered what she could possibly have to say on a Tuesday morning. She answered the phone and was ready to end it quickly, for she had a lot of studying ahead of her and a class in ten minutes, but her mother gave her no room to argue. Carla broke the news about selling the house without even consulting her daughter.

Of course, it made sense why Carla wanted to sell the house. With Caitlin away for college, there was no reason for her to keep such a large house for one person. Plus, Tannhauser Industries was such a long commute from their current home. Carla needed something closer, something smaller for it to be practical. Caitlin is smart. Caitlin is practical. She knew this was true. But it did not make the fact hurt any less. Losing the house meant losing the last bit of her father she had left. That house was on the very street where Thomas Snow taught her how to ride a bike, the same house where she learned the periodic table song, the same house where they spent all of their Christmas’ together, cuddled up by the fireplace watching the snowfall outside. To Caitlin, it was more than a house. It was a living memory of her father. Selling it just felt wrong. But, of course, Carla Tannhauser could never relate to that. Carla Tannhauser could never understand what Caitlin was going through, so why attempt to persuade her otherwise? Her mind was made up, and there was nothing Caitlin could do about it. Well, nothing other than sulk all day.  
Caitlin skipped her next class and spent the rest of the daylight holed up in her dorm room. She only began to worry about her responsibilities when her roommate came back after her final class. Hannah nudged Caitlin awake, forcing her back into reality. Caitlin was horrified to realize what she had allowed herself to do. Who cries themselves to sleep in college? She screamed at herself. Her red cheeks flushed with her embarrassment quickly drained to a sickly white as she remembered the assignments due tomorrow and the exam she had not studied for. In a rush, Caitlin grabbed all of her work and sprinted to the library where she pledged to stay until her work was complete.

Now, it is after 7 a.m. and Caitlin has barely made a dent in her piles. Her exam is in less than an hour and she does not feel prepared at all. Doing well on this final would mean an A in this course, something she dreamed and worried about all semester long. Caitlin Snow was always an overachiever and she’ll be damned if she stops now.

Well, she’ll be damned, indeed. After the exam, Caitlin forced herself to sit through the rest of her classes, faking confidence until her grade was posted. Somehow, she managed to make it through the rest of the day and finally allowed herself to flop on her bed for some well needed rest. Just as she began to close her eyes, her computer dinged with an alert that her exam grade had been posted. Grudgingly, she pulled herself out of bed and made her way to her computer. Whispering words of encouragement to herself, she logged in and checked. The giant 58% was plastered on the page, mocking her failure and inability to achieve an A. At that moment, Hannah walked in and saw the disappointment across her roommate’s face.

“Oh no, Cait! Did the exam not go well?”

Instead of responding, Caitlin simply turned her screen towards Hannah.

“58%? That’s incredible! Dr. Burke is the toughest prof out there, this is impressive,” Hannah shouted.

“‘Impressive?’ Are you out of your mind? What grad school wants grades like these?” Caitlin began to break down, her tears welling up in her eyes.

“Caitlin, it is your first year, your first semester. Grad schools don’t care about a single class your freshman year. I know you’re upset, but it will be okay, I promise.” Caitlin was still not convinced, but Hannah was making some sense. “Hey,” Hannah began, “I know what will make you feel better. Some of the girls in my econ class told me about a frat party tonight. Let’s go! I’ll even be DD so you can party to your fullest potential!”

“Frat party? On a Wednesday night? You know I don’t drink, let alone party. I think I’ll pass.”

“Oh c’mon, Cait! It will be fun. You don’t have to drink, just go and dance and have a good time.”

Normally, Caitlin would never agree to something like this. Her parents never partied in college, and her mother was strict about underage drinking. But why would mom care? She was so quick to throw my feelings out the window, why not do the same?

“I’m in.”  
\---  
For the party, Caitlin opted to wear what she had worn to class: jeans and a t-shirt. Hannah, on the other hand, was donned in shorts and a sparkly tank-top. To each their own, I guess. Caitlin had low expectations for the party to begin with, so she didn’t bother putting extra effort in her appearance. As they arrived, a group of girls greeted Hannah and pulled her towards the kitchen. Hannah promised to stay by Caitlin’s side, so the two followed the group deeper into the house. A red solo cup was thrusted into each of their hands, and Hannah began to tell the partiers that they wouldn't be drinking, but Caitlin cut her off. In that moment, Caitlin decided to be free. She wanted to release the anger she had for her mother for the night and have a good time. She threw the liquid into the back of her throat and immediately regretted it. She gagged, and the people around her laughed. Shyly, she tried a slower sip, and this time the drink tasted a bit better.

Throughout the night, Hannah was by Caitlin’s side as she promised, but Caitlin began to feel more free. She danced front and center, played beer pong with scary accuracy, and threw back shots left and right. Hannah, becoming worried about her roommate, had suggested on multiple occasions that they go back to the dorm. Drinking like this for the very first time could not be healthy, but Caitlin didn’t care. On her last attempt, Hannah’s phone rang, and Caitlin shooed her outside so she did not interrupt her dancing.

With Hannah gone, Caitlin continued to dance. Thoughts of her exam, her mother, and her father left her mind. The only thing holding her focus was the boy she was currently grinding on. Normally, Caitlin would never be this close to another person, let alone a boy, but tonight was different. She enjoyed the attention and the way his body bounced to the beat with hers. She even enjoyed his whispers in her ear and the way he grabbed her hand and led her upstairs. Buzzed with alcohol and adrenaline, Caitlin did not know what was happening until she realized the boy had brought her to an empty bedroom with a closed door. He began kissing her neck as he pushed her towards the bed. 

Suddenly, Caitlin’s senses woke up. She realized she did not know this boy or the room she was in. The only thing she knew was that she had to get out. She tried to tell him to stop, but his lips moved to cover her mouth, his tongue gagging her. He pinned her on the bed and started to move towards the buttons of her jeans. Caitlin, fear running through her veins, found her voice and told him to stop. The boy did not listen. He continued kissing her, roaming his hands on her body. Caitlin was going to be sick. She tried to move, but he grabbed onto her wrists, pressing his nails into her skin. “Don’t move,” he spoke through gritted teeth. Caitlin continued to squirm, causing the boy to tighten his grip and become more urgent. He started undressing her, and Caitlin had no idea what to do.

As she lay, motionless, something inside of her broke. Her stiff body suddenly felt freezing cold, and her fear was replaced with icy veins. With all her strength, Caitlin pushed the boy off of her, sending him plummeting off the bed. They both were shocked by her sudden outburst of strength, but Caitlin kept moving. She buttoned her pants and shot daggers with her eyes at the boy.  
“Don’t you ever go near her again,” Caitlin’s voice echoed out of her body. The boy lay afraid on the floor, and Caitlin stepped over him to the door. She yanked the doorknob and only stopped to look back once at the frat boy sprawled across the ground with the fear of god in him. As she glanced back, she noticed ice covering the doorknob. Not caring, she fled down the stairs to a worried Hannah.

“Where have you been? Are you oka-”

“I’m leaving,” Caitlin cut her off and walked out the front doors. She was already calling herself a cab and before she knew it, she told the driver to take her home. Throughout the entire ride, Caitlin’s mind was filled with questions. What was I thinking? How did I let myself get that drunk? Who was that boy? Who was I? Caitlin could not tell if she was afraid of what had just happened or of what she just did. She attempted to explain the ice and her involuntary speech, but before she could come up with an answer, the cab driver announced they had arrived. Instead of her dorm building, outside the cab was a house with a “For Sale” sign in the front yard. Caitlin paid the outrageous fee and left the car. Before she could drag herself all the way to the porch, the door opened.

Carla Tannhauser looked confused in the doorway. When she realized it was her daughter on her property, her confusion immediately turned into worry.

“Caity, what are you doing here? Are you all ri-”

“Mom?” Caitlin asked, with tears in her eyes. She ran up to the door, ready to hug her, when she felt a burning pain in the back of her throat. Caitlin turned, just inches from her mother, and puked in the flowerbed. Carla, instead of being disgusted, hugged her daughter and brought her inside.

For the rest of the night, Carla sat holding back Caitlin’s hair as she crouched over the toilet, puking halfway through every sentence. Caitlin’s tears were as violent as her retching, and Carla could do nothing but soothe her daughter.

In that moment, Caitlin forgot her anger, her disappointment, her sadness. Every time she puked, she let go of more alcohol and more resentment she had within her. She did not need to drink to feel better, she just needed her mother.


End file.
